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The Shame of Fraud
In the aftermath of Fraud
While criminals play their scams
Reaping easy money and laugh
It is the victims who feel shame
From the minute you discovered you are involved in a fraud scam your thoughts have raced almost to fast to make any sense. You cannot believe that someone with your knowledge, who is as clever as you, can be duped and you certainly do not want everyone around you to think you are an idiot. While none of us even know what kind of help we need, we normally just open up to those family and friends around us. On seeking some initial solace from family or friends you realize very quickly that your friends are very quick to blurt out their immediate judgment and may even infer you are stupid for falling for a scam. This poor initial reaction, is usually out of self-concern or internal fear or disbelief but it is hardest to take when you are really needing a consoling ear and a sounding board for your thoughts. So, after few of these experiences you are likely to just stop telling anyone, anything about why you are so distraught.
Isolation is not a good resolution. Try not to shut people out for their knee jerk responses or even their inability to understand. Most people will listen briefly before something in their own stomach turns to live vicariously in your words. Their own fear is triggered and this is when they blurt out self-denial and disbelief. They just can't imagine the space you now occupy and can hardly envision how easy it is to fall into a con. The unfortunate part is unless they take you seriously, and believe that if you could be hoodwinked they could be to, they will never be able to believe it can happen to them, until it does. While your first response to such a sense of adversity in close relations is likely to be to stop discussing your problem, it is not the choice in the best interest of either you or others.
You and others easily overlook that you have been conned by professional thieves who have spent a great deal of trial and error perfecting their crafty scam. There is no shame in being beaten by a trained athlete especially when you didn't know you were even in the ring. These are no amateur players. It is disbelief of fraud in general as a personal adversary that is the origin of anyone's initial opinion of your situation. You need to make them realize the importance of respecting the savvy of professional criminals that can be so well polished that no one is safe from fraud. If you consider that most humans have pulled off a really good practical joke on a friend at one time or another, it is that easy. Fraud is just a practical joke being played out with all of the imagination and play-acting needed to totally draw the prey into belief but instead of a big laugh at the end, this joke pays off in theft. If someone sets out to pull the wool over your eyes when you are not suspecting it, they will have a good chance of success. If a crook does this joke over and over until they iron out all the bugs and get success, they are unstoppable. There is almost no chance you will escape unscathed if they have happened to hit just the right chords to open your normal sense of business procedure. No wonder you got scammed. They know more tricks than you can imagine and they are prepared with a ready logical answer for almost anything you may ask or say. Yes, you made a mistake but this was no ordinary blunder, this was a contrived maze with very little opportunity for you to escape. Your family, friends, and neighbours need to know this for their own good and they will never learn it if you do not teach them.
Do not let the illusion of shame and embarrassment prevent you from seeking help or reporting your plight. Many frauds escape detection by authorities or subsequent publication of statistics and details because victims of fraud are too embarrassed to come forward. This is not a personal exposé about you, or your ability, or your experience with life, but a simply a human fall into a well deployed trap. Don't be embarrassed. Do your part to speak up about fraud and public awareness to help everyone learn how to make our country unprofitable for fraudsters. Stand up to anyone who ridicules your experience and position and send them to this website, so they can gain some understanding for the depth of the problem of fraud in Canada. Then tell them flat, that you refuse to discuss this issue with them until they are educated. It would simply be unfair of you to enter into a battle of wits with an unarmed person.
You can only be the person you are meant to be, if you do not succumb to the illusion of unwarranted guilt and embarrassment - Stand in the Truth of you you have always been!
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